hatred ..

I really hate to say this ... but i have a bad habit ... i dont like people to remind or talk to me about somethings so many times ... enough for one or two ... Since Thursday ... i already told this group .. i dont want to do this kind of job anymore ... but they keep calling me .. after one to another ... this morning .. "the director" herself calling me .. asking me the same questions .. arghhhhhhhh ....is that so hard to understand? i have my own reason .. i really dont want to do this anymore ... by hook or by crook .. this is the end ..... no need to help me ...who else gonna call me ??? ... hahaha call in just now ... shes calling again .. asking for items that i want to use n order ... Y?? i started to feel this "hatred" feelings inside ... i really hate this ... hemmm she said its abt record .. i wonder ... is it really abt record? or just want to make sure their achievement ?? i already in this line several times ... at least i know how it works ... for them .. this work is easy n fun dont have to do it seriously... maybe its true ... but that is not the excuse ... for me .. time .. budget .. commitment ... thats the point i hilight from the 1st session which i told i cannot give .. but they didnt listen at all ... i guess its all abt "them" .. I remember what sis "Dot" say .. "once i jump into this business ... i really go for it" ... its good attitude .. n thats what i'm afraid of... i didnt have much time guys .. i do apreciate my free times n weekends .. also my schedules .. its not 8 - 5 like others ... she said ... its not really u must committed n really do for it ... u just do it on your free time ... like when u go out station .. u will meet somebody ... then u tell them abt the product ... argh .. i really dont want to argue abt this matter ,... i coose to listen n keep my mouth shut ... this really make me started to hate this guys .. she said this time she will order few product for me ... and if i want that .. just tell her n she will deliver it to me ... i still can keep my tempreture down this time ... still can talk nicely .. this is the last time babeh ... after this .. anybody who call me abt this will get the "benefit" ... hahah .. i dont care anymore ... All of this what i'm telling u guys out there is the same things i have to go tru form one to another person ... can u imagine how i feel ? i wonder ... am i so cruel if i didnt answer all their call after this ... or i'm afraid if suddently i shout at them like what happen last month ... ( i will tell u guys abt this matter in my next blog) ... arghh ... enough abt this ... really hate this feelings ... n really hate myself when i have to b cruel to others ... enough .... STOP!!! Kadangkala...susah utk di terangkan, pening kalau di fikirkan, sakit hati kalau di ikutkan, mati jiwa kalau di turutkan, so.. HanTam SajAlaH.. ~It'S OnLy Me~ - Amietz -